I remember looking at the world like her. Same angle, same posture. Curious, ready to explore. Looking up, stretching my neck, making myself taller and looking!
As a species we are helpless when we are born. We start our lives usually looking up at our mothers eyes, for feeding reassurance and guidance. Once we start walking, the world gets more and more interesting and it opens up infinite possibilities. But as small people in the midst of a giant world, we have to look up, even get on the tips of our toes when necessary to try and get closer.
I like to think about that small girl that I used to be, full of eagerness and dreams. She still lingers, curious as ever, often whispering in my ear, just do it!
And although my life angle has changed. I’m still definitely ready to explore, open new windows, breathe new scents.
As we grow up, our posture and the angle we see the world from, shifts.
We get to a point where we straighten our back and we look ahead because that is where the future is. We can now look people in the eye more often and we have a pretty good idea of what lies ahead when we eventually get there. But of course there will be many obstacles on the way, some that will make you stumble, others that will just make you fall flat on your face.
Ideally you will get right back up and will continue walking, trying to keep the balance and move as straight as you possibly can.
I have been walking like that for some time now. And yes I have had many stumbles and have fallen a few times. But I’ve gotten up, gathered the dust and moved on. Sometimes it wasn’t enough though and I had to change to a whole new outfit, start over.
I am happy I can still look ahead and ignore for the most part all the noise that threatens to distract me. I like to think age has brought me wisdom but also less patience for what is not important.
In a time of lockdowns and masks, it is still essential to keep looking ahead and try to find the end of this dark tunnel although it feels it is taking a long time to get there.
I will try to prolong this life angle as much as I am able because I know what comes next. The angle will change once more, the world will shrink and me with it.
My view of the world then will probably be a bit bent. My head will not be held as high as it used to. And that is fine I guess. I will think back on the child and the woman that will still be present inside of me.
The ones that will remind me I’m hoping, of the past and all I have seen and felt. Of the happy moments more than the sad ones. Looking down may not be so bad, there may be grandchildren with the same eagerness as me, waiting for some tidbits of wisdom I can still pass on. At the last angle of my life I wish there will be no regrets, just a feeling of having lived well and having wasted as little time as possible.